Dark Night of the Soul

        How dark does it have to get before we turn on the lights? How many times will we put ourselves in danger before we walk the path of light? Well, the Dark Night of the Soul will be sure to let us know. That is the moment of necessary surrender. It’s probably one of the most painful places a soul in a human body can go to. It’s when we feel like giving up, quitting, wishing for that bus to hit us, crying ourselves to sleep, drinking bottles of wine, and being so self-destructive that it starts to feel good. It’s when we can’t find any strength or hope to find a way to make things better. And then, things get worse. Right on cue.

        Kali Ma. She is the Hindu goddess of destruction. She will come and take the pain away. No matter the religion or philosophy you choose to follow, it’s just symbolism. It symbolizes the complete destruction one’s soul must go through in order to be reborn. Nothing can be rebirthed without total destruction. This is not death of the body. This is the death of the ego. When the ego tries so hard to cling onto things that cause suffering, the suffering will just continue until it’s too painful and dark to see any light of hope. That is why it is called the Dark Night of the Soul. Everything is dark. Everything is scary. Everything hurts. Everything sucks. We then have two choices. Stay in it and hope that the body doesn’t get completely destroyed and give up, or find a way to kill the ego and save the body and soul.

           How do we kill the ego? Let go. Surrender. There is no "how to" or the need to know how. Needing to know how, is still the ego in control. The soul knows, but it cannot lead the way because it only knows light. When we choose to stay in darkness, the soul is waiting for us in the light.  It is waiting for us to say “Ok, I surrender. Please show me the way.” When we release the need to know or have control of the how, that’s when the true miracles start to happen. We didn’t know how before we didn’t know. If we knew how, there would be no Dark Night. We get to the Dark Night BECAUSE we don’t know. Every soul is different, and every soul will decide how many times it needs the same lesson before the light will be shed. And there is no book really. And if there was, it would be one page and say “Just surrender. Trust, forgive, accept, and release. Let it all go.” It’s actually that simple because it’s just a few things, but it for sure is not simple to do.

        Surrender, what does that mean? It means stop. Stop all of it. Stop the destructive, self-pity thoughts. Stop the self- sabotaging behaviors. Stop trying to find a way out. Just stop. And then breathe. Breathing tells our body that it is safe. When we just stop to breathe, it does something calming to the body. That’s a good place to start. Stop thinking and start breathing. Trust. Trust that everything is always ok and there is always a way out once we surrender. Forgive. Forgive yourself for putting your mind, body, and soul through torture. Forgive others for their choices in their path of life. It is not for us to judge. Let it go. Accept. Accept that everything just is, and the only thing we can change is our response to it. Release. Release everything. Let it all go. And then breathe again.

        The Dark Night of the Soul is probably one of the most important places to be for spiritual evolution and enlightenment. That’s why it’s called enlightenment. There is so much light in the new way. Once we hit that Dark Night and wake up, life becomes so much more manageable, and understanding. Until another Dark Night arrives. “Wait, what? How can that be? I already went there and saw the light.” Well, guess what? You didn’t stay there. It’s really easy for old patterns and behaviors to come back and run the show once we start to feel strong again and forget our practice. Spiritual enlightenment is a constant practice. If we don’t continue on the path of spiritual evolution, it’s really easy to slip into another Dark Night. The darkness is only there to remind us of the light. The good news is that once we’ve been through the cycle, we can recognize it and pull ourselves out of it quicker. And guess what? It will keep happening until we’ve mastered surrendering, acceptance, and forgiveness.

    The first time could easily slip someone into chronic depression, addiction, or worse. Not everyone in the dark will choose the light in this lifetime, unfortunately. But that is something their soul chose for this life. It sucks to watch people suffer, especially when we know there is a way out, but you didn’t know until you knew, and they sure won’t either. It’s also a reminder to keep and hold our light. Sometimes just us holding the light and the candle will maybe penetrate through someone’s darkness. Don’t count on it, but it won’t hurt to do it for ourselves with the possibility that someone around will catch a glimpse. It is our duty to hold the light as much as we can, once we find it. It’s how we care for our brothers and sisters and neighbors. We choose to shine. Smile. Someone else seeing our smile could feel love, even if for just a moment.

        So, what’s really behind the Dark Night of the Soul? Shadows. Lots and lots of shadows. That’s what shadow work is. It is getting deep down and asking ourselves the why behind our choice of feelings. WHY do we choose to feel a certain way? WHY do we choose to think a certain way? WHY? What are the traumas that are hiding and lurking in the shadows? What haven’t we addressed in our lives that we tucked away for so long and probably forgot it was there? Those shadows will bring you back to darkness really fast. That’s why choosing to hold the light is so important. Choosing forgiveness, acceptance, trusting, and surrendering. Choosing to find the good in all and every. The shadows will eventually dissipate and leave no room for darkness, when we choose to hold the light and make a conscious effort to continually do so.  

        Happiness IS a choice. Darkness IS part of light. Choosing light IS part of evolution. Choosing love IS part of resolution. Choosing forgiveness IS part of healing. Choosing acceptance IS part of spiritual growth. And spiritual growth IS a choice. It’s available to each and every one of us. Our soul is standing there in the light just asking us to come out from the darkness. Will you choose to? And will you stay for a while? 

Happy Healing! ✨🌟✨

Gia Rose

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